Traitor

I had some friends over this past Sunday for some Pho (yes I made it myself, no I didn't use any powders or pre-made stock, yes it was northern style, no I didn't give them food poisoning).  After a lovely brunch of Pho we had a nice chat about my up coming vacation.  I was commenting on the fact that I was going to have to be delicate in the way I dodge possible setups with family friends so that I can escape from my vacation unscathed and more importantly unengaged.

Since my Parents still have friends and other family connections there I am expected to make the rounds on their behalf.  I have no problem doing this and I look forward to really getting a good taste of life in Hanoi from the perspective of the locals.  I do however want to avoid the “marriage setup” attempts that will likely happen.

This and having space to work on my thesis was some of the reasons I wanted to live in a hotel or shared house with other expats. 

I also did not want some poor girl to be pressured by her family to secure my affections.  I also wouldn’t want to subject some nice local girl to the idea that she would have to move away from her family, friends, and culture in Hanoi to fly to a totally new country as my *gulp* foreign bride.  Oh I am sure I could fall for a smart, nice daughter of my parents friends, however I’m actually trying to think about what is best for all here.

I think my mom (who has pushed this more then anyone) would love for nothing more then for her only remaining unmarried child to wed the daughter of a good friend.  This would set her giggling like a high school gossip queen and she could call all her other friends spread the word.

After relaying this conundrum to my guest, I had been expecting the full support of my friends on this matter.  What I did NOT expect was for one of them to say what they did.  

Ok so before I get into this heated topic (like a dancer at the Blue Fox) I will give them stage names to protect their true identities.  Think the names Bert and Ernie will suffice (except Ernie in this case will be a girl) and now I can go on without fear of reprisals against them.

 Ernie grew up in Canada on the west coast and is very much a Canadian girl of Caucasian background.  I would think that she would advocate for supporting Canadian girls but in stead she said “oh I don’t know about not giving the Hanoi girls a chance”, she further went on and elaborated while I sat there amused and shocked.  I will boil down her tirade to some key points from her perspective.

1)      “didn’t trust Canadian girls”

2)      “They are pretty messed up”

3)      “the feminist movement has screwed up my generation”

4)      “you are likely to find a better girl in Vietnam”

Without going on more I think you get the drift, I did try and counter her points even saying “well you telling me all your friends that are girls aren’t good then?” to which she replied “oh yeah they are screwed up” … this had me laughing a bit.  Bert for his part was more excited by the idea that if I marred a Vietnamese girl he would have unlimited access to good home Vietnamese cooking.  

I like everyone else reading this blog was appalled by Ernie’s lack of loyalty for her home town girls, I thought I would get validation at my plans to avoid problems....

Now to be clear I'm not fully against the idea, I just don't want someone to feel undue pressure and there are a lot of great girls in Canada, I was just supprised at "Ernie's" attitude.

I know like the rest of you when she said all these things I was thinking.... Traitor!